Do you have to go to church or attend a religious community to be on the spiritual path?
For those who describe themselves as ‘spiritual but not religious’ the answer is often no. For them spiritual practice is primarily an individual quest and often involves an eclectic approach combining elements from more than one religion or path. The ‘spiritual but not religious’ demographic finds conventional religion with its dogmas, institutions and emphasis on group worship suspect.
They may attend church but do not feel obliged to do so.
Unity as a movement typifies this spiritual but not religious approach. The emphasis is on spiritual unfoldment and deepening consciousness rather than on building large churches or codifying a set of doctrines.
As a Unity minister of many years I notice two strong threads emerging in my church. The first is that the majority of attendees have come from other religious backgrounds and are looking for greater freedom, less dogma and acceptance for all people.
The second thing I have seen is that individuality, the right of each person to seek out their own understanding, is highly valued in our Unity community. This thread of individuality is dynamic and refreshing but trying to lead such a Unity community is a little like herding cats.
And that’s the conundrum: how to honor individuality while fostering the benefits of a community. No one goes it alone. There is support, encouragement and joy available in a healthy community that enhances our individual quest. Yet, what is a healthy community?
As a minister I have often pondered the validity of pop philosopher Sting’s lyric, “Men go crazy in congregations, they only get better one by one.” I choose not to see it as an indictment of spiritual communities as much as a reminder that healthy communities exist only when they are filled with healthy individuals.
What, then, are the characteristics of healthy communities and how do they differ from those in dysfunction? Where is the dividing line between a mob and a gathering, between a sect and a cult?
The answer, of course, depends to some extent on individual preference. Some of us thrive in highly structured settings while others prefer a looser, more flexible style.
As a rule, though, communities devolving into cults, or gatherings morphing into mobs tend to share some common characteristics.
First, dissent is limited. It is of crucial importance that all members adhere to a system of belief; a dogma, credo or slogan that provides solidarity for the group. Opposing viewpoints are demonized and excluded.
Secondly, the group tends to act like an organism that demands loyalty above reason.
Third, such groups share an emotional charge that is instinctual and primal. Members are ready to go to war for their cause no matter the consequence.
A healthy community or gathering has characteristics that are in stark contrast to those outlined above. In healthy communities there is room for dissent; in fact it gives strength to the group by providing a much needed counterbalance.
Loyalty in a well-adjusted community is not to the group and its credo but to the spirit of shared integrity that a cooperative vision provides.
Emotions are still important but are less primal, being tempered by the higher virtues of mutual respect, love and compassion.
In essence, in a cult or mob, individual rights, dignities and freedoms are secondary to the need for group coherence. In a healthy community the larger group thrives on the creative interplay of individuals serving together.
I invite you, now, to notice how these characteristics toward health or dysfunction apply to the groups, committees and institutions of which you are familiar. Know, as you do so, that your role as an individual is of crucial consequence. A group is only as healthy, as we said, as the health of the individuals within it and so the integrity you bring to your church, social group, community and nation is of the utmost importance.
As I look back on twenty-four years as minister of Unity Church of Fort Worth I observe all the successes, challenges, joys and frustrations that we, like all communities, have experienced. There were those magic moments when it seemed that all the disparate pieces had fallen into place and the church was truly a gathered community of like-minded individuals. The energy of such times was palpable. And then, there were those times when personality rather than Spirit appeared to be in control and the energy became less welcoming.
How did we persevere through those challenges? By remembering that community is a sacred trust and must be nurtured every day with attention and adherence to the higher virtues of unconditional love and wise discernment. I have also found that self-correction is a hallmark of a well-adjusted group. Admitting to mistakes and errors as a group and not blaming individuals for those mistakes allows for an adjustment that benefits all. Those that cannot or will not make that adjustment tend to leave the community. That has certainly been my experience.
We are often told that the stakes are high in our world and in our nation today. The tension between nation and nation, between group and individual, corporation and community, is tightly wound. So, I offer three hallmarks of sanity and good sense that we can protect and celebrate as we go forward into the 21st century.
First, we can celebrate the gifts of pluralism and tolerance. As terror and reaction to terror inform our dialogue we can give thanks for a society that allows for many viewpoints and systems of belief. We can see dissent as a way to deepen our understanding. Second, we can celebrate the shared virtues and decencies that all belief systems uphold which is that, at core, we are beings of love. Third, we can celebrate and work to foster the qualities of civility, grace and respect in our personal, political and collective interactions. After all, it’s the Golden Rule.
May a new kind of spiritual community emerge from this magnanimous consciousness – one that is less dogmatic and more responsive to the individual gifts and wisdom of each of its members.